Seventy-percent of all people who start martial arts training start because, you know, maybe they feel weak, they’ve been bullied, they feel like they’re in trouble. There’s a lot of reasons why people start, but it’s typically because there’s a weakness. Your self defense instructor might not want you to know: if somebody doesn’t think they’re weak they typically won’t start martial arts training in the first place.
And guess what, chances are, your martial arts instructor either was bullied as a child by their siblings, by school members or they felt insecure inferior in some way or another. That’s the truth with me. I was bullied as a child– by my brother and by people at school, and one day I just got tired of it I said enough is enough.
Think about this, if somebody feels strong and confident they don’t feel the need for martial arts. Your instructor probably started off needing this training that he or she gained from martial arts. That’s why most martial arts instructors are so kind and so gracious and so generous because they understand what it’s like to be on the other side and, therefore, they’re gentle.
There’s a Japanese saying that says “he who must prove how good he is, is unsure himself.” I’m all about self defense, I’m all about physical training. We’re not going to meditate in my class and talk about peaceful things, but the truth is I haven’t been in a street fight for 21 years and I’ve been doing martial arts for 22 years. I’ve been in a sanctioned mixed martial arts fight, sanctioned boxing, sanctioned grappling tournaments, I’ve done some real fighting, but haven’t had a real fight because I haven’t done anything worth fighting for, since then.
It’s just not worth it because if I’m going to go to jail, the other guy is going to jail. The other guy is probably going to go to the hospital or might even die and if I have to fight, it’s a life or death situation. Most life or death situations you can avoid or get out of. So I don’t fight and I don’t see the point of hurting people. I don’t have to hurt you to feel better about myself. I don’t have to hurt you to prove it.
So I want you guys to be aware of that and here’s the thing– if you come up to a martial art instructor and he’s got an attitude or he has something to prove or he’s very aggressive– not necessarily aggressive in his teaching, but aggressive towards people, he’s a bully. And what he’s done is he’s now reversed roles. He was bullied most likely and then he found the power and now he believes he can bully others and you have to be careful and avoid those people.
So just watch out. Beware if that man or woman that’s the instructor is just very aggressive and mean– beyond reason– then walk out. Also understand, too, that there a lot of instructors that spar with their students. I spar with all my students because I know I have the control. If your instructor typically hurts students, some day he’s going to hurt you. People like that, once they don’t find value in you, they’ll turn on you. Those that gossip to you will gossip about you. Find a good, wise martial art instructor.
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